I came up with the idea — both for this story and for this newsletter — while in immense pain. I was getting something called a DMK Enzyme Facial. Have you heard of this? I don’t actually know how it works from a scientific standpoint, but basically, they paint a bunch of layers of enzymes or something (??) on your face, let them tighten until your skin is so warped that you look like an elderly person (seriously, Google it!), and then take it all off and charge you $200. Apparently, Drew Barrymore does it, which is something I reminded myself of numerous times as the enzyme mask tightened around my hairline, making me feel the need to itch it, which I couldn’t really do because the stuff was also all over my chest inhibiting my range of motion, and giving me the acute sensation that my skin was burning off. I had also consumed a weed gummy before this whole experience, so this fun thought briefly crossed my mind: What if my skin, like, actually is burning off and I’m just too stoned/shy/awkward to go get my facialist and tell her? Wouldn’t that be a horrible way to go? Imagine the headlines! So yeah, weed and minorly invasive beauty treatments — a truly winning fucking combo!
100% feel the disappear-y feels
I’ll gladly have patience for your well written musings as I sit in bed, feeling disappear-y and with a large zit on my chin from maskne (mask acne)